Entertaining a Pretender (well, lots of them, actually): My impression of the Atlanta “International” Auto Show

The GM Motorama it ain't

Okay, everybody knows it, so I’ll just come out and say it from the get-go. The Detroit Auto Show – er, I mean, the North American International Auto Show (NAIAS) held each year at the Motor City’s rather lackluster Cobo Hall – is the big event in the automotive world. Yes, the Chicago and Los Angeles shows are good for a handful of new product introductions each year, but exactly no one is delusional enough to think that they’re in any way on the same level as the NAIAS.

That being said, one thing should be abundantly clear to all gear heads residing in metro Atlanta: The Atlanta show is a total poseur.

Atlanta's largest dealership showroom

More specifically, anyone who’s been a regular attendee over the past twenty years knows full well that it’s nothing more than the Metro Atlanta Auto Dealers Association’s number one method to try and drum up business for their typically-slimy members. That’s right, it’s less of a product exposition by the automakers, and more of a mega-showroom for area car dealers, packed with all the requisite info-babe turn-table models, microphone wielding “product specialists,” as well as the usual run-of-the-pond sales scum patrolling every display for any and all hapless show goers capable of being brow-beaten into “setting up an appointment” for a “test drive back at the dealership.”

Nonetheless, there are cars!

This is a shame, as a low-pressure product exhibition would likely provide a greater benefit everyone (the manufacturers, MAADA, the dealers, and the consumers). Regardless, it is what it is, and despite it’s shortcomings, there are still lots of cars there. Which means, of course, I’ll be there, too.

I spent nearly six hours at the show this year, and lots of things caught my attention; however I’ve waited a week to blog about them for a very specific reason: I wanted everything to “sink in” so I could concentrate on the aspects of the show that left the strongest impression on me. In no particular order, here they are:



1) As much as I hate to report this, I must: Once again, Honda and Toyota have proven that they really do “get it,” and Ford, GM, and (especially) Daimler Chrysler have proven that they absolutely don’t. Evidence? All the big concept cars Ford brought out at the NAIAS were absent at Atlanta. Taking their place was a gimmicky talking robot, and two concept vehicles from previous years’ shows (the Bronco concept from 2004 and the Cobra concept from 2003). Honda and Toyota brought almost everything they debuted at the NAIAS this year to Atlanta, and resorted to fewer goofy theatrics in the presentation. And show goers noticed.



2) Many of the automakers were successful in taking their marketing angles “to the floor of the show” by immersing their displays – and even their people – in the image they want to portray. As my wife and I sat in a total crap-box of a $14,000 Suzuki station wagon, we wondered how a company that produces the Ferrari of motorcycles could build cars like this. Then one of the Suzuki product specialists walked by, and it hit me – all of them were wearing black denim jeans, white t-shirts, leather jackets, and boots. In other words, motorcycle attire. The very same concept was represented by the crooked-baseball-cap-wearing teenage reprobate working the desk at Toyota’s Scion “youth brand." As off-putting as all this was to me, who knows? Maybe it works.



3) Toyota seems right on schedule for their upcoming-and-coolly-anticipated total world domination. Damn, I wish they were capable of doing something wrong! As my jaw dropped upon pulling the lever and reclining the seat in the back of the company’s luxurious large sedan (the Avalon), it occurred to me that they probably sat their interior design engineers down in the back of a $350,000 Rolls Royce and said, “Okay guys, do as much of this stuff as you can in a $34,000 car…we can’t use all the same materials, but get as close as possible with the budget we have.” How close did they get? For the money, they got damn close.



4) Given the above, you wonder the following: If they can get this close to Rolls Royce interior design standards in a $34,000 car, what could they do in a $80,000 car. Enter the Lexus LS600h. In this “Benz assassin” of a large luxury sedan, the interior effectively surpasses the opulence of the Rolls, especially in the back seat where the reclining seat lies 100% flat, an ottoman kicks up from below the seat, and the process is all electronically controlled. Oh yeah, the LS600h is also capable of parallel parking itself – just pull alongside the car next to you (and behind the space you want), put your foot on the brake, press a button, take your hands off the wheel, and gently let off the brake as the vehicle calculates the perfect angle and automatically drives itself into the tight parking space that you would have never attempted. Couple this with 430 horsepower, a reputation for reliability that would make the Maytag repairman join a union, and one of the greatest dealer networks in the nation, and you’ve got a sure-fire world beater. Did I mention that it’s a hybrid?



5) Finally, I must wax on for a moment about the hands-down star of the show (in my no-so-humble opinion, anyway). The extreme south end of the display floor encompassed a bevy of automotive accessory vendors. Everything from wheels, tires, car polish, car covers, fuzzy dice, fake chrome, fake wood, fake carbon fiber and fake people resided here, along with just about every hopped up car you could imagine. I’m an OEM (original equipment manufacture) kind of guy, so I walked quickly through this silly midway, but suddenly, something caught my eye. There, among the hawkers and flashing lights, buried behind stacks of custom rims and tires, and itself shod with garish 20-inch gold-plated wire spoke wheels, was the true definition of American automotive luxury – a car that in design and execution absolutely nailed all the aspects of this genre in a way that Lincoln, Cadillac, Buick and Chrysler absolutely have not done in years and probably won’t do for years to come. This is the car that, if properly redesigned for the 21st century, could steal back a generation of customers from Lexus, Mercedes, and BMW. This is the car that redefined what cars looked like for a quarter century after it was introduced. This is a 1961 Lincoln Continental. After seeing it, I was ready to go home.